Bodychecked off the Bike

Since moving to Tucson, I have to say that I am glad that a city has such a comprehensive and welcoming policy toward bicyclists on the road. I live downtown just south of campus, and for many miles expanding outward, there are clear reminders of available biking and pedestrian lanes as well as an expectation to share the road. I also believe the cyclists are thankful for the space as I have yet to see some errant two-wheeler fail to observe their own regulations. It seems that motorists and cyclists are capable of sharing the road responsibly and being aware of each other's presences.

The cycling group Critical Mass seems to embrace a similar philosophy on the group's web site. An informal gathering of cycling advocates who believe in sharing the road and being respectful of the laws, and staging its origins in the San Francisco Bay area, CM acts as a decentralized but certainly no less passionate or thoughtful a response for the multiple ways people want and need to get around. CM also supports and rallies around conjunction causes like the energy crisis. While I would probably relent that perhaps there are some zealous bike fans out there who like to stir up trouble compared to your average rider, CM has documented several instances of police misconduct in Winnipeg, Spokane, Denver, and more recent trouble in New York City.

Nick Langewis and David Edwards of The Raw Story reported yesterday that video footage uploaded to YouTube exposed unprovoked and unchecked aggression from one of the rookie cops on the force. 22-year-old Patrick Pogan claimed to be under orders to stop a traffic disturbance when the video depicted him standing firmly upright, preparing himself into a position, and rushing toward Christopher Long, 29, and clearly veering left to avoid the cop, only to be knocked down onto the left road shoulder.

The Smoking Gun uploaded the court order charging the cyclist with attempted assault in the third degree, resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct. (That stated, I love how the police force can issue overlapping charges. I almost think that if you use one term, you're obligated to cherry-pick a couple more that are close enough.)



And not that I'm an avid fan of football, but I've seen that same squaring-up, pre-tackle move countless times on the field. Who gets into a move like that unless he's ready to take someone down? Leaner guy on a bike. Big cop guy. You be the judge, folks.

The police force seems divided on this one. Spokesperson Patrick Lynch says that Long should have slowed and stopped, and that the attempt to swerve was a deliberate attempt to avoid arrest. He specifies that Long "dropped his shoulder in an attempt to avoid arrest by plowing into the officer's chest, which resulted in the officer pushing him away." Pogan's father, a retired detective, supports whatever his son had to do to make the arrest.

Mayor Bloomberg and Commissioner Ray Kelly stand on the other side. Bloomberg called the incident nothing shy of inappropriate, and Kelly could not offer a suitable explanation for such cause. Pogan has had his gun and badge stripped and now serves under modified duty -- probably the tip line. The reporters source some officials on NYPD staff that Long's charges will likely get dropped and that Pogan is likely to be terminated from the force.

Finally, the popular culture site Gawker released the story and, at this press time, about 130 comments, most of which come from local citizens. A good bulk of them find fault with the cop, understandably enough, and some offer how it finally took an uploaded video to prove the routine nature of police roughhousing. Some have commented on the disparity between aggressively charging cyclists versus motorists. Some comment on the general disorder of getting around New York anyway, and some razz the bicyclists and call names.

I don't know. I don't live there. I just take it for face value that, as in other groups of like-minded people, you have your few bad apples and your predominately good folks that have something they care about and advocate. Until some two-wheeler takes a key or a front to my car, I'm going to slow down and maneuver around them. And I am no linebacker.

Save the Tatas!

Save the Tatas!

Per one of the press releases on the site:
Julia Fikse, designer and creator of the fun and hip line dedicated to spreading awareness about breast cancer research, runs her concept from Canoga Park, California. Opting for a sassy and lighthearted approach, she donates 5% of her business revenue to such groups as the Susan B. Komen Foundation, which promotes an annual walking campaign for the cause.

Yesterday, I was proud to include myself among the attendees at downtown Tucson's Pub Crawl for the Cure, organized by various groups of Meetup.com. Starting at three yesterday afternoon, yours truly hit up five bars in the Main Gate and 4th Avenue districts and drank to support breast cancer research. The sites of interest included Gentle Ben's, Auld Dubliner, the B Line, the Surly Wench, and the Hut.

Among those in attendance included a group of students and young professionals raising money to do a walk. We raised $920 last night. To walk, each team member of the four needs to raise $2,200, and their team goal is 420,000.

I want to do my part to help, and I thought I would publicize my local organization's efforts to make a difference.

I drank five beers last night, so I think a per-beer pledge might be appropriate. Donate whatever you wish per beer: fifty cents, a dollar, two dollars. Whatever the case, every little bit helps.

The walk is scheduled for November 14, 2008. The donations I collect in support of the Foundation will be retained and segregated in the Brainsplitter Project account, and signed off as one lump sum. I offer to do a proportional match based on the amount of donations collected. Please leave me a note, comment, or email sourcing your donation to breast cancer for bookkeeping purposes.

Please give if you can.

Thanks,
Dee

On the Prowl

Apparently, I'm not quite on all fours yet searching for the next big fling, but a colleague of mine describes his most recent sex life as nothing but debauchery. As someone who appreciates a good story when he hears it, I can say with certainty that my colleague is really good for the wild and kinky whenever he can find it. Such entanglements include sleeping with former students, corralling around threesomes and multiple sex partners, and trying to gather as many people around for general romping around, whatever that may lead to.

I'm impressed -- that's quite the coping strategy for a failed relationship. Without getting into the background too much, he ended up cheating on his girlfriend because he was dissatisfied, I think, with both the sex and the relationship overall. I think it came to that crossroads, when you're with someone for a while and you have to decide if this relationship is "the one"-enough to start talk of deeper engagement. Maybe both partners aren't ready to take that plunge, or maybe there's an implicit recognition that the relationship is coming to a close, for whatever reason, and that it's a lot easier to bring it to the brink with an outrageous act rather than confess those unspoken emotions.

Tarra from beyondjane.com offers a pretty standard script about how women feel fortified by the intimacy in their existing relationships, and that can carry them through the waters of unwanted advances. Because men treat sex more physically, they can disengage emotion out of it, which may trump fidelity in the correct context. By discouraging accusations of cheating, defining relationship boundaries, and keeping the sex fresh, couples can stay committed and happy.

Sex is a really powerful thing in a relationship, though. It is capable of demonstrating affection between partners and allowing for physical pleasure, but it has its dark sides, too. It is a weapon of withholding, too. Partners can withhold physical sex and emotional intimacy at their own discretion, sometimes for inconsistent and maybe even unknown standards. The divorce site above references power and control -- a good explanation, for certain -- but it also deals with issues like passive-aggression, dissatisfaction, and conflict resolution. A partner reluctant to embrace differences of opinion might be more receptive of keeping one's pants on rather than engage feelings directly.

And that's the crux, isn't it?

Regarding infidelity, I don't know how the consequences of cheating are supposed to make the emotional pill of a failing relationship go down any smoother.

But this isn't the time to indict my friend. Having heard bits and pieces of the fallout from cheating, I think he feels plenty sorry for what he has done, and this weird zing of sexual activity might be more about enjoying himself before drawing his degree to a close. I believe he feels remorse for his actions and, if it were possible, might have done things differently. That said, if he wasn't up for soul searching about what went wrong in his own relationship, I certainly think he has bypassed the process when it comes to sex. In an effort not to ask any undue questions, he might just be going with what feels good to his penis. And at the end of the day, if one does not need to self-deceive in order to bring that point across, then so be it.

To be seen though, and ironically, is more of the aftermath. Lexington is a lot bigger than Tucson, but it seems like one's friends with benefits resurface in strange and unusual ways. More people being drawn into the bedroom creates more than rush-hour traffic difficulties in sexual behavior. You have to look your kinkiness in its face and see it for what it is, not just how it feels.

Time for Some Campaignin'

Entertainment video courtesy of JibJab.com



A laugh for the 50th entry on the Brainsplitter Project. See you at 100!

Starting Somewhere New

I don't care what anyone says. Starting a new life is just flat out difficult to do unless you're mentally prepared for it. I mistakenly thought that the sheer want and need and will to load up my car and get out of Kentucky would be enough to get me through, but now that I'm deposited here and settling in, I'm realizing just how much of a process this has become.

Not even eHow could really prep you well for this. The linked guide is just some advice on checking out the place, looking for jobs in advance there, and saving money. You could do some more scouring on the Internet to get suggestions on how to find a place to live, how to do job searches, networking with people in the area, how much money you need to save, and so on, but that doesn't really answer the mental questions involved. Not just the "how" of moving, but the "why," the "what for," and the deeper questions of purpose and fulfillment that circulate around such a big transition.

What is the purpose of your move?
It usually helps to identify a primary purpose for moving, which is the easy part, and the secondary conditions that would result from such a move.

For example, I moved to Tucson because I applied to and got accepted into their sociology Ph.D. program. My primary reason for moving is to pursue my education. However, the conditions that really emancipate me in my journey have a lot to do with unsatisfactory job prospects and opportunities back home, and putting some distance between myself and some bad memories and experiences that kept my heart locked down. I became tired and disenchanted with friendships and relationships that didn't have much potential to them, and I believed that the vast majority of those who said they would miss me would probably not even bother to pick up the phone as soon as I left town. I jokingly said to my mom as we pulled up alongside each other on the highway that she just caught me in the middle of sending up a giant middle finger to the heart of the Bluegrass region.

The move for me became as equally important a resource in helping me getting in touch with new people and establishing improved relationships. Free of the restraints and self-imposed inhibitions of my home turf, I knew I could come here and have little to lose. I could get out more and explore this new territory, and it was more important to just keep open eyes and mind to what was before me.

How do you dive into a brand new scene?
First, take assessment of who you know in your new city, which is usually directly tied to the reason why you moved in the first place. I met a few people when I visited Tucson a few months ago, and I had some contact information from students in the program. I spend most of my time with my program mentor, and I am usually agreeable to meeting and remeeting friends through him. Networking -- putting your name out there, hanging out, identifying common interests, sharing contact information -- is crucial.

This is a good way to get started, but having been here a week or so, I want to establish some fresh contacts of my own. If anything, I don't want to hang all over the same handful of people. Search your city's name in Google to pull up local pages of interest, traveler's guides, and useful tourist information. I also recommend joining Meetup.com and placing an ad of platonic interest on Craigslist. You might want to try CL anyway in case you're in need of cheap used furniture to stock your new place. Finally, visit a nearby university or downtown area to pick up free or cheap local circulations. Your city might have a daily or weekly periodical highlight events, movie reviews, social activities, and entertainment options coming into your area.

Do you feel like you're at home now?
I think feelings of homesickness take time to resolve themselves, and even if the phenomenon is largely catered toward young adults, I think adults have just as rough of an adjustment period. Like your children and younger peers, you too have left behind not just a place you called home, but a rather strong geographic marker (e.g. where you're from) as it pertains to your identity. For a number of months or years, your old hometown was a familiar stomping ground. Now you're somewhere new and trying to sort everything out.

I think it helps to stay positive. Go back to the purpose of your move section and explore those answers a little bit more. For example, in understanding that I relocated to go back to school, I might think a little bit harder on what it means to be a student or what I hope to achieve in my future college experience. It allows you to create feasible goals and strides toward embracing your new locale. One commitment I would like to make is to read the campus circulations regularly and attend social events on campus. I would also like to take deliberate steps to increase networking and bonding with my colleagues, attending both academic and social events together to foster some relationships. This is noticeably different than a run-ragged existence, having to work extra to pay bills, and isolating myself whenever I got stressed with schoolwork.

I also think that it's good to pull in the symbolic when appropriate. When you moved, you may have taken some of your old furniture with you. Makes sense, right? You need your bed, your couch, but these objects can create emotional permanences. Not all permanences are bad; memories can be positive, certainly. But if you find yourself romancing a little too sentimentally about your old friends and neighbors, or if you flip through photo books and become overwhelmed with sighs and pinings, you won't feel any better in the transition phase.

My suggestion is to retain some of your precious belongings and actively making use of the rest by giving it to charity, donating to a local shelter, or maybe even making a few bucks off of them if they are in good condition. Once they are clear from the space, you can start envisioning new possibilities for how you would like to arrange and combine furniture, artwork, and decorations.

Once I got rid of my things, I wanted to create a living space that was immediately useful for a graduate student, but that it could also give me that relaxing home vibe, the kind of feeling that says "You're doing good on your readings; go take a break and enjoy yourself!" My studio apartment has a good separation of working and play space. My student desk is neat, tidy, and has room for books and supplies and my calendar. My bed and play area still sits in front of the television. I found a really great candle that smells like hazelnuts and caramel, so I'll light that, and I'll curl up with a fun, nondemanding book. Or I'll just camp out and put on a funny DVD.

I have also given thought of how I could let my natural surroundings influence my living space, thus embracing the lay of this land. I have been looking into getting friendly, natural plants into my living space, or even just changing the backdrop of my computer to a Southwest-inspired theme.

Not to be utterly heartless, but it is perfectly acceptable to keep up with loved ones. I feel comfortable calling my family members anywhere between once a week and once a month, just to catch up and to let them know I'm okay. If your family better communicates through e-mails and photographs, then that technology use is perfectly adequate.

Know your heart.
Some of these coping strategies may suit you well. Some may not. In any sense, it's just good to keep tabs on how you feel and what you're thinking in this transition period. It doesn't hurt to ask yourself if you're feeling okay, or acknowledging the ups and downs of getting settled. No moving experience is perfect. (Just ask me what I think of the cost of registering my car here!)

If you feel blue, then don't be afraid to talk to a trusted friend or a professional in your area. Sometimes it's good to vent, and sometimes an objective point of view can help you better pinpoint what may be bothering you. It also helps getting the emotional burden off of your own shoulders.

The reality, though, is that you're in a new home. It may take you some time before you call it home, but that's perfectly acceptable. Just keep your head up and do your best to make each day meaningful. Once you start making friends and expanding beyond your comfort zones, you'll feel better and you'll learn to like it. If things don't work out for you, then you can seek other professional options, employment opportunities, or educational moves that can enable a move somewhere more to your liking. Either way, you are the only person that will let yourself get down, down, down.

Recommended reading:
Counseling and Psychological Services, University of Arizona

Tucson

A quick note: I'm settling into Tucson. I have been here a couple days. I'm trying to finish up my apartment, and I will resume regular writings from here on forward. Thanks to those who have kept up with me during the moving process.

On the Road

I will be leaving my parents' house in a few hours to make my way toward Tucson. I'm taking a week for the road trip because I'm visiting friends along the way. The trip isn't going to be too bad. I have broken down the trip into eight-hour legs from state to state with the exception of one long stint from Oklahoma to northern Arizona. I can't recall the episode of "Family Guy" in which Stewie hops up on stimulants to drive across the desert en route to San Francisco without cracking up.

Anyway, I will be safe and careful. I don't know when I will be able to get Internet access in my apartment; hopefully, it won't take too long. If you need to get a hold of me, send an e-mail. I have periodic access on the road, so I'll do my best to stay in touch.

Or call. Really. It's you and me and a bunch of jacked-up-price corn for scenery. I think we can manage.

Dealing with a Cooldown

Dear Blogosphere,

I support Barack Obama. I have given him a rather paltry political contribution through his web site, and I intend to vote for him in November. While I was initiating torn between Senators Clinton and Obama during the primary process, I became disenchanted with Hillary after hearing her criticisms of Obama after he had pulled out a lead in some primary contests. She started playing by the distasteful playbook of one and two election cycles ago, trying to be someone you want to have a beer with rather than someone who is savvy enough to run our country. She made some low blows, chimed in with antagonizers, fought over hypothetical delegates, and still refused to bow out to support her opponent in the long run.

I applauded Obama for being able to mobilize a lot of voters -- that he made his campaign a grassroots effort from the start. Despite being weatherbeaten by false accusations, rumors, smear efforts, and infighting, he clinched the nomination. Now it's down to two. Barack Obama and John McCain.

For a while, I felt very energized. I haven't watched this much news in... I can't recall when. (I've heard stories from my mom about being in the nursery and fussing if CNN wasn't playing in the background.) The point of a solid political process is to get people talking, I believe, and my co-workers and I would weigh the arguments and discuss what we thought was important. We all slaved for our tips so, like anyone else trying to stretch a buck, we would lament about gas prices and plan to go to the pier next door and have a beer less often. We challenged each other to stay up to date on current events and to share our findings.

I'm a liberal and I plan to stay that way as long as I can, even if it supposedly brings me more misery than good. Being a young professional in my 20's through the Bush presidency, lots of things have just run amok. Uncontrolled spending, a war built on lies, rising everything.

People like me -- we needed this. Once one rehashes just how jacked our country turned over the past two election cycles, you just have to look up.

Obama's campaign has kept me motivated and positive so far. I feel good for the most part. The most recent coverage about Obama's "flip-flops" is starting to wear on me because, when commentators and pundits go to task on the issue, the discourse eventually breaks down into the same old talking points. Now that Hillary has endorsed Obama and fences have been proverbially mended, I get a little tired of the irrelevant fodder. Now that the big battling controversies are done, I think most of the recent news coverage centers around relatively insignificant matters. The candidates are playing a lot of "gotcha!" right now.

Other than that, there has been a lot of hype about Obama shifting toward the center. During his presidential nomination process, he planted his feet firmly on the left wing and distinguished himself with some important policy statements on health care, tax burdens, environment, and energy policies. Now that he's representing the Blue side, he has had to demonstrate flexibility and revision to convince people across the aisle that he is competent to run the country.

I am concerned about commentators like Glenn Greenwald who have been fueling the fire of some of Obama's recent activity. A posting on Daily Kos shows quite a bit of up-in-arms. Greenwald is incredibly articulate, artful, and the cadre of posts plus updates is a little intimidating to pick about. Olbermann delivers it pretty straight, forceful, and thoughtful too. When they started slapping hands and cocks about their arguments, I just tuned out.

Let me put it this way.

While you two are arguing over this issue, how exactly is this contributing to choosing the right guy to run our country?

That's what I want to know.

I don't care which one of you has a larger intellectual penis. I just don't. Last I heard and cared about the FISA issue, the existing loophole permits criminal prosecution against telecommunications companies. Investigations will follow unless pardons start getting passed out like dinner mints. I trust that will happen when Obama gets to the White House, and that works for me. I think there is usefulness and purpose in pragmatism, but with so much crap going on right now, we Americans need to believe that something good lies in the near future. Between Obama and McCain, I think that Obama has more at stake and at interest in helping to correct some of the goings-wrong that have pervaded our current process.

Let me restate some simple points in brief:

Public campaign financing. You want a drop in the money bucket or full reign to use what your supporters have contributed in full?

FISA. Yes, I said that. You can write it down, record it on tape, or take a picture. I've got absolutely nothing to hide.

Flip-flops. Why isn't anyone talking about McCain's highly contradictory statements on oil, drilling, Social Security? Obama's coiled on three things. McCain's got, what, ten, twelve of 'em on record? Is it because the list is too long? Just pick three. You can easily pick three. Just put the damn things in a hat and bring it up to the man when he's standing in front of that God awful green backdrop.

I don't think Obama is politically invincible or even that much a salvation. I have chilled a bit. I don't think he's a fake, and I'm not calling him "every other politician." I'm not likening him to Kerry. I'm not saying "anything's better than McCain" (or Bush, since that likely applies). I'm still watching the news. I'm just watching less of it because I haven't been logging in quality time on the Internet to figure out just exactly what's going on. I hear it second- and third-handed and it's all starting to run together.

I'm still voting for Obama, folks.

I'm at that point when I have to turn off the TV or close the browser window because all this dissection isn't really getting us anywhere. Discourse should help clarify who you're going to vote for, right? Don't we need candidates and pundits and commentators to keep us informed? You have three choices in November. Obama. McCain. Or neither slash stay at home on the couch. And you need enough information -- not talking points, not gotchas, not bigger intellectual penis -- to make an informed decision. And I think once you have a good guess of who you're voting or not voting for, just lock it in. Make your choice because you believe in it. Keep an open ear. Keep the intellectual engagement, but if it gets into who's using the biggest word, then understand that there's nothing to gain.

Dan Rather had it right a couple of weeks ago! We're really hurting with gas prices and a dollar that doesn't seem to stretch as much. We hope that some cough syrup and chicken noodle soup can cure what ails us. If we can walk it off (illness and injury) or walk it on (working as much as we can), then that's the only way to survive. You can even love or hate the war. So long as you have a loved one shipped out overseas, you're praying that they don't come home in a body bag.

Let's get back to the issues.