Bankruptcy and Resentment

It was Personal Family Finance all over again, or whatever the course was called when I had to take it. I sat down beside my mom and went over the online notes. She gets flustered at the computer. She is incredibly self-conscious of her reading and comprehension skills, so I reiterated orally for her. I walked her through the lessons. We called the counselor on the telephone to confirm the completion of the lessons and printed off a certificate she needs to send to her lawyer.

Mom is filing for a Chapter 7 bankruptcy. She has become highly indebted to a number of collectors, partially because of lack of income after exhausting her money returning, married, to the United States, and partially because she took a former boyfriend at his word to pay off some debt of his own. The money never came; the boyfriend dropped out of sight. Surprising, I would have not figured my own mother for a sucker. I suppose love lets you put up with a lot of stuff.

Bankruptcy isn't cheap. I hear that it is more difficult to file for bankruptcy now than it has been in the past. The lawyer explained the hassles of the "front end" stuff, which usually involves collecting copies of the following information:

• Social Security card and picture identification
• credit report listing current debts
• titles of property owned (car, house, etc.)
• recent bank statements
• recent paycheck stubs / proof of income
• recent tax returns
• proof of credit counseling

Thankfully, she had almost all of that stuff in her records. I just printed her bank statements from her online account and reprinted her two tax returns.

The difference between a Chapter 7 and a Chapter 13 bankruptcy is that the latter allows you to enter a debt repayment system in order to keep existing property and collateral. Chapter 13 bankruptcies are designed to put creditors and collectors at bay long enough to enable a repayment plan to form, and for the debt to be reduced to extinguishable levels within a few years. Chapter 7 bankruptcies require additional means testing. If you cannot afford to discharge your debt with a repayment plan, this option might work best. State laws vary on the extent to which property is exempted from collection; this is a rough list, which basically states that secondary and additional property and monies beyond necessary means may be subject to offering. While debts become discharged or dealt with in either case, bankruptcy will not supercede obligations to repay student loan debt, child support, alimony payments, and income taxes.

I wrote a check to cover the attorney fees and one of the classes. I waved her down, "Birthday gift." She turns another year in August. I took a deep sigh and went outside to continue reading a book on global warming.

I agreed to it; that's true. I wouldn't take back the favor. Nonetheless, I felt a little guilty because, in my mind, I was really pissed off at extending myself again. The money won't break me. I took up some unemployment benefits before school starts in the fall, so I would have a little extra money to get settled in. My gift wiped out that first check. It also spoiled a couple of things I wanted to purchase for myself. And I also remembered how I ranked up a compounded debt of more than $4,000 and annihilated my savings the first time I had to fly my mother back to the States.

What's really hard is that -- I know I'm not selfish. I believe in being supportive and helpful to my mother who raised me well. I am thankful, thank you very much.

I have been in this position of role reversal before, and it's not pleasant, especially knowing that I really am the first, the last, the only line of defense should things go wrong in my family. My mom has stated, and I have to agree, that she can't really depend on too many people. My stepfather and my sister look and keep after her; that's it.

I was hoping that One Frugal Girl could shed some insight on these contradictory feelings of graciousness and frustration, but she spent more time talking about parents helping adult children. A separate US News article talks about protecting your senior parents' assets as they entire retirement. Asa hints around at paying back bills and debts from a deceased parent's estate.

My friend told me that it was okay to feel resentful about having to rush in and save the day.

Although I'm not an immediate fan of using Scripture to get by in life, I have to get credit to One Thessalonians. Karon Goodman suggests using practical and spiritual responses to quell the feeling: prayer, talking with a loved one, share ideas of solutions, count blessings... probably pray some more...

In the meantime, I give myself some credit.

I have acknowledged feeling resentful. Negative feelings are nothing to fear. They are good to admit, to possess, and to express so long as someone can check them before they result in troublesome behavior.

I have agreed to set a boundary. I think it will be easier to deny requests to swing on in and save the day when I move, but I need to stage polite refusals so that she will have to answer to her own powerlessness. "I'm sorry," I'll say to a request for money. I agree that I will offer it only if I have it to spare and do so without obligating a payback.

I will refuse to feel perpetually indebted. I am plenty grateful and thankful for what my mom did for me in raising me. I am thankful that she has been there for me in times of trouble. I believe that there is no need to worry about how the balance of power or obligation hangs because, as an adult children, it simply isn't there anymore. That's a sign of emotional pathology, when changes happen and the way to cope is to lash out; and that needs to be dealt with and addressed, interpersonally or with professional guidance.

I'll let it go. It just takes a bit of time.

Touched

My sister and I usually fight late at night over the Internet. She's lucky. The computer is in her room, and it being summer in a town with little to do, she will talk her with friends via phone and instant messenger. Maybe she can parlay that into public relations while entertaining dreams of doing law, immigration, or something that will bring it big bucks and break her out of the common grind she has known and I had known in her shoes growing up.

I figured my inbox wouldn't have much going on, but I checked it anyway. One message. Subject: "Notification of donation received."

What the hell?

I clicked. The Paypal logo. "You've got cash!" Hopefully, America Online wouldn't find this as sufficient reason of copyright infringement; at the very least, it merits a silly chuckle. "Dear Dee, this e-mail confirms that you have received a donation of...", a receipt number, reference number.

The Brainsplitter Project.

Shut up. No way. The button actually worked?

I don't know how long I have known Headbang. Maybe it's hard to recall because, like a warm summer wind filtering through the grasses, you feel a presence even if you can't see or hear it. You still feel it, though. It's there. Even if daily lives and conflicting schedules hardly lead to a daily catchup, we maintain a quiet and persistent involvement. Headbang has given me words of encouragement when I work way too hard, when I don't know what I'm doing, and always offers a vote of confidence and faith that helps cheer me up.

We first encountered each other on an Internet forum of which we have been longtime members. Persistently cordial and pleasant, we have had a few exchanges and shared some one-on-one thoughts. Headbang told me that he blogs. We exchanged links. I have subscribed to his feed, and I enjoy the photographic storytelling and thoughtful commentary he offers while on the road and the air with his partner.

I'm a little stunned. Thank you. Of course, anybody who extends their generosity like he did to the writing cause deserves that at the very least. But I'm trying to wrap this thing up, and I have to say, I'm incredibly moved. I take my writing seriously, and I'm trying to move forward in a new direction with my content while still retaining some humor in it. I can believe that all I want for myself, but a move like this -- not just the donation but the friendship behind it -- is a public demonstration that, yeah, someone else believes it, too. Plus, this is the first. Poor guy has to endure jacked up blog formatting in my promise to distinguish my donors.

Anyway, here's to you, Headbang. Highest appreciation for the graciousness, compassion, charm, and good will that makes you stand out, and I wish you nothing but warmth in your own personal endeavours.

Sincerely,
Dee Hill Zuganelli
Brainsplitter Project

The Public of Public Financing

Coming to you live as someone who is learning more public campaign financing, the mill started grinding yesterday upon the report that the Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama would turn down government funds for the general election.

According to Wikipedia.org, this is the first time since 1976 a major political party chose to forego government funds. (However, individual candidates such as George W. Bush also abdicated public funding.) Obama posted a candid web video expressing his decision yesterday evening, arguing that this move enables him to maximize the fundraising support he has received from individual donors. McCain immediately latched on to this development, criticizing Obama's trustworthiness in answering on a questionnaire that he would take federal matching funds if the Republican nominee did so as well.

USA Today answers some general questions about campaign finance that is worth a brief gander. I argue that Obama is a popular and well-respected candidate who should not be faulted for taking advantage of his strengths in fundraising and grassroots support. To suggest that Obama is cheating a system or deceiving his supporters would go beyond the line.

Obama is running his presidential bid until election day on the financial backing of his individual donors. He is a master fundraiser; Obama has generally immense groundswells of grassroots support, a campaign built largely on small individual contributions from the Internet. Following the McCain-Feingold legislation to reduce soft money contributions, Democrats had to depend more on creative initiatives and collective movements. When asked for full disclosure on donor record as a natural part of the accountability, Politico.com reports, "...the Illinois senator whose revolutionary online fundraising has overwhelmed Clinton, filed an electronic fundraising report so large it could not be processed by popular basic spreadsheet applications like Microsoft Excel 2003 and Lotus 1-2-3." To bring software analysis to stall, it would require of 65,000 rows of aggregated data on one document alone.

What Obama gave up on wasn't his base supporters -- individual donors -- but rather the taxpayer allocation cited on federal and state returns matched by a federal fund. The percentage of individuals allocating toward this presidential fund dips below 10%. He abdicates an available $85 million in public presidential funding because, in February of this year alone, he raised nearly 65% of that margin (almost $55 million), and of that $45 million came from the Internet.

The economic advantages regarded, commentators should be cautious not to mix connotations of public finance reform with "public" support. Obviously, Obama isn't hurting for supporters. The amount, dollars and numbers of contributors both, are staggering.

In the process of fact-checking, PolitiFact clips some commentary from Craig Holman of Public Citizens:

"...all of these presidential candidates are in an impossible situation. We are going to see a billion dollar campaign for the first time in American history. And in that kind of spending race, the idea that you can run a clean campaign by turning down dirty money is at best a fantasy hope.

"[Obama is] stuck in a very difficult situation of trying to campaign on cleaning up Washington and at the same time having to raise half a billion dollars from special interest groups that want favors out of him. He's doing the best he can."

All politicians have to weather that storm. We are on the heels of an Administration that took the old boy buddy system to a new level, especially with regard to no-bid contracts for the Iraq war. To immediately indict Obama of the same errors or question his commitment or capability to run this country is too stage a fight way prematurely and half-cocked.

While headlines read and falsely suggest "Obama chose winning over his word," the real problem is a willingness to gloss over Obama's continued commitment not to allow special interest groups and connected lobbyists to spearhead or disproportionately influence funding efforts. Furthermore, Bush's 2004 fundraising efforts were heralded largely by the same individual donors but with a distinct contrast: that his bundlers -- Pioneers and Rangers alike -- belong among the highest earners in the country. Bundlers of this sect could easily amass $2,000 contributions without so much as the drop of a hat.

Obama's base, I would surmise (and love to analyze one day), consists of a greater spread of income ranges: poor, working, and middle classes. The Chicago Tribune adds that Obama has received larger donations as well, but the candidate is certainly not courting larger sums in exclusivity, or devaluing and depreciating every bit he can get. A fundraising dollar is a fundraising dollar, none of which makes him for sale. To argue otherwise would, again, be misleading and unsubstantiated.

Obama made mention of a broken system because, while it disempowers individual candidates to raise funds, it enables bigger, louder background voices to do the argumentation for them. For instance, supporting political action committees have free speech freedom to slash away at political opponents, so long as they do not explicitly use words such as "vote for" a candidate, "vote against" one, "support" this guy, etc. While transparency laws require an end blip about the creator of the political ad and the requisite nonendorsement thereof, current reform laws do not limit the nature, prevalence, frequency, or distribution of those ads. While the funding routes are monitored, they are done so to lesser detail than hard money contributions. Thus, a special interest group with nondisclosed funding routes can play up wedge issues or attack a candidate's character while the candidate throws up hands in helplessness.

We have an interesting situation here. Obama has a lot of economic muscle to flex. Dan Rather was a guest on "Morning Joe" and said that while McCain has the opportunity to play up the subsequent character attack, Americans might be more concerned with the bigger fish: rising gas and food prices, wages failing to pace with inflation, and humanitarian efforts for the flood ravaged Midwest. Before he said that McCain can win the election on character assassination alone, he should have stopped it there: This, too, will pass.

If anything, people will draw attention to McCain's inherent jealousy and difficulty in his own fundraising efforts, and his own backhanded strategies to stay within law limits. Never mind taking out personal political loans. The Washington Post also detailed McCain's return of political donations, only to ask if they would donate to a certain discretionary fund that he could presumably withdraw from later on.

This is one of yet another half-hearted attempts to argue against Obama, not even on the merits of political positions or the consistency of those positions, but on the notion that character assassination is roughly the only recourse to gain support. McCain needs to keep at this because his candidacy is incredibly weak. Pick the issue among many from the hat: economy, war, women, foreign policy.

Glass can only deflect so much before it shatters from force.

First Contribution

I just donated $10 to the Obama campaign. Most candidates make it easy to do a one-time online donation. Linking to secure web payment details, you can fill in your credit card information, check that you meet certain terms and conditions (e.g. age, location, affiliation for their records, etc.), and then make your donation.

Obama has been lauded as "the Internet candidate" because of his use and promotion of web technologies to share campaign footage, articulate campaign issues, encourage donorship, and to make a public statement in which he refuses financial contributions from lobbyists and special interest groups. I planned to donate to either Democratic nominee at the end of the process, but I feel particularly happy about lending Obama some financial support.

I believe in Obama, and I am willing to hedge my political bets. But I think what makes the difference is that I genuinely believe that, whatever the dollar amount or the degree of campaign volunteering, Obama is truly and deeply appreciative. It might certainly be easier and more politically expedient to take special interest money, but to do so would require a deeply personal tradeoff -- that that candidate might be held in suspicion or in obligation toward those interest groups. He can take the everyday American's money because he wants to fight for the cause that keeps us all together. This, of course, is a welcome departure from the public and private support Bush has passed on to his cronies, friends, and supporters of oil companies, homeland security operations, and other blithe conflicts of interest.

You can't get conflicted about being a real public servant.

Configure

Replaced blog listing with a dynamic feature just released by Google. Dynamic web links. Blogs and sites arranged by most recent update. Donors to the Brainsplitter Project will still get specialized, set apart web recognition. As always, if interested in exchanging links, please e-mail or send me a message using the contact information on the right.

Created two new contact links for Google Talk and Yahoo users.

Repaired Google Custom Search at the top of the blog.

Sword Dancer 2

After defeating the Sword Dancer for the first time at Choral Castle, it will rematerialize in the Rugnica Plains near the ruins of the Rotelro Bridge. You might have accidentally stumbled across the search point at the beginning of the game. If you had, then you might have noticed a strange message about "an evil presence."

Yes, it's back.

Remember:
The Sword Dancer's strength and skills are proportional to your party's level, so unless you would rather spend time mining for the best equipment and spells to take it on, now's as good a time as any.

The earliest opportunity to find it again is after having the Tartarus repaired in Keterburg. Sail east from the snow country toward the eastern continent and hug the coastline until you reach an embarkable spot on Rotelro Bridge. Once you're on land, walk north, then northeast following the road. You will cut through some forest area; the road splits the woods. When the road curves west toward the next destination, swing east instead and walk to the source point. The battle activates immediately upon examining the source point.

Warning:
You will need to prepare your troops in advance. The battle starts immediately. Thankfully, if you're not ready or you're about to be defeated, you can run away from the battle and regroup.

Rest:
It is good to sleep at an inn to replenish your health. Engeve charges 100 Gald and Saint Binah charges 200. Save your game. Worst case scenario, you lose and then you can quickly load your game from nearby.

Preparation:
I used Guy, Tear, Jade, and Anise. Guy was the speedy quick hitter and a decoy to draw Sword Dancer's attention. Tear provided healing and offensive magic, and Jade and Anise provided offensive magic.

Map an Arcane arte to one of the circle commands in order to use Mystic Artes, which will be explained in the next section.

Go for the gusto. Set TP use to 100% for everyone else except Tear; set hers to 75% usage in case if you have to "force" her to heal or resurrect someone. Also, set Jade, Tear, and Anise's attack mode to Artes only. Although the description reads "will use Strike Artes and Fonic Artes only," you can disable the Strike Artes to turn them into spell spammers. This is a must!

You can get away with disabling all but the most powerful moves. I kept Tear's First Aid, Healing Circle, Resurrection, and Nightmare activated. (Yes, there's a good chance that Sword Dancer will kill one or two of your people.) I kept Jade's Flame Burst, Turbulence, Splash, and Stalagmite since the Dancer has no particular weakness. Anise does best with only Negative Gate since the spell hits multiple times. These spells will summon forth water- and dark-elemental (water and earth) Fields of Fonons that Guy can capitalize upon.

Crescent Strike + Water FOF = Frigid Moon
Void Tempest + Wind FOF = Dragon Tempest
Tiger Blade + Earth FOF = Wyrm Wrath

Reposition Carmine Chambers to your most frequently used spells and attacks in order to build their strength.

Set everyone in the back except for Guy. He should stand in the third row for the cautionary player, but he is quick enough elsewhere.

Finally, get focused! To be safe, map those FOF-able base artes to the circle commands and one arcane arte to the right analog stick for each player, so that you can better respond to the demands on making combination attacks.

Overlimit:
Level 30 -- Your characters will have the AD Skills "Overlimit" and "Special," which enables Mystic Artes to be pulled off.

To use a Mystic Arte, let the Overlimit meter charge to full. Press R2. Approach the Dancer and use an Arcane arte (e.g. the moves usually composed of two base artes put together). Hold the X button throughout the whole Arcane arte move, and then the Mystic arte will be activated. This works for the fighters in the group: Luke, Guy, Anise, and Natalia.

For spellcasters that have used certain magic artes enough, simply cast a High level spell to deploy their moves.

Battle:
Sword Dancer modifies its tactics a bit. It can use Overlimit multiple times. While in Overlimit, it is harder to stun and it can quickly counterattack, and it isn't afraid to do so if your team members are close together. Your best bet is to hope that your other party members cast spells in succession. Also, turn on AD Skills that increase combo nature; those should be "on" by default.

The truth is, Guy will probably spend more time running around the battlefield and drawing the Dancer's attention. String together a couple of standard attacks at the most then run away! If an FOF appears on the ground, use it! These moves will cause decent damage but primarily gives your characters a few more seconds to reposition themselves and recast spells automatically.

You should give up control of Guy only if Anise or Luke has an Overlimit ready. Other than that, don't waste your time. Stick to chaining together attacks and entrusting Tear to heal as needed. Stay persistent.

Playing keep-a-way with the Dancer is vital to success. Let the team members pick up the slack. As long as Tear isn't focused on healing, they will hammer the Sword Dancer with spells. Guy can rush in to take advantage of the FOFs, but he should focus more on distracting.

The Spoils:
If you defeat the second Sword Dancer, you will get a Treat item, which heals the party for 30% of its HP. You will also get the coveted Genius Staff, which provides an incredible boost to F. ATK, some 450 points or so. I gave the staff to Tear.

Good luck! And save often! :)

No Help for the Pocketbook

Inspiring story:
President, Congress offer no immediate help on gas prices

CNN White House Correspondent Ed Henry reported yesterday that before embarking on a tour in Europe, President Bush had little more to offer an audience other than sympathy for the expected crunch of high gas prices. He threw up his hands. He says that he has argued for drilling in the Alaskan Wildlife Refuge to increase available crude oil, and that his economic stimulus package has given some relief to consumers. With the Senate leading a strong opposition of drilling for environmental protections and the falsehood in an immediate fix, the gas question would remain in continued deadlock. Barack Obama argues for the importance of ending dependency on foreign crude by reinvesting research, development, jobs, and technologies toward alternative fuel sources. Although this blogger believes that any good R&D moves take time and that, realistically, the planks will hold on high prices for the immediate future, Obama is definitely talking long-term strategies and I am glad he is not apologetic for it.

In the meantime, Bush upholds his stimulus relief as proof positive that one mere check was all it took for American households to absorb the shock of the market.

I asked my sister, "Hey, how long did it take you all to burn through that stimulus check you got last month?" She laughed. "I needed to buy some school clothes for next year, and we had some bills due, so it didn't last long at all." I pulled up our bank accounts online and found that in a few small transactions -- rent, utilities, food -- that the money just evaporated. Some thirty days later, funds are perilously low and demands are held off until the upcoming paycheck. Even in simple mathematic analysis, Bush establishes a logical longshot in purporting that the stimulus rebate package is the proverbial defibrilator to the country's economic heart.

"Free money," okay, doesn't bring down the costs of staying afloat; it's just a little more air in the flotation tube. Perhaps the best return could come of investing it in the stock market (or not, as of a few days ago) or locking the funds in a certificate of deposit. The math isn't too kind on either front. As happy as I am with my online savings account, a 12-month CD at 4% would get a $600 deposit only twenty bucks or so. And that's if you force saving the money for a year. Whatever bonus you would get from the interest would disappear with a slight gas increase. Still, families in the lower quintiles of yearly income perpetually live in a check-to-check financial mode, making savings aspirations pretty unfeasible, let alone realistic or conceivable.

I don't think I'm saying anything new. Americans have to get creative in order to cope with rising costs. Cutting back isn't new. We go out to eat less, put off some purchases, shop for sales in clothing stores, and put plans on hold. We brace ourselves at the price of the oil barrel and guess how much gas we could "afford" to put into the tank. No kidding.

But at this juncture, maybe it speaks more of our culture in that an ability to cope necessarily hinges on how we deal with material losses -- the dollar, the drink at the bar, the choice of lunch meat, the concert tour. Those that deal well need not to deal at all: They "have enough" to get by. I read in passing that members of the New York super-rich class guffaw a bit at spreading out $350 haircuts, or scale back on the gym. They redivert and increase comfort food consumption, and they can probably afford the treatment and health costs to do so. One haircut. Half the package.

We can only hold out for so long.

Home

My mom came to Lexington with a truck and an attached trailer, asking me how much stuff I have left to pack into my car before hauling out the bigger items. Not much, I replied, just a couple of stray things. With some help, we carted off the mattress and box spring, a chair, a television cart, and bundled up the rest of my things and stuffed them into the trunk. She followed me onto the highway and then the parkway that connects Lexington to Elizabethtown. I arrived home early yesterday evening and got settled in pretty quickly.

I'm here a bit longer than expected.

The front and back of house were called into a meeting on incredibly short notice. I don't think anyone was surprised -- that the restaurant closed its doors for the last time this past Saturday -- but, unlike cats, we can't land on solid financial feet. We discussed among ourselves who would transfer to which store. After doing some simple math, I decided that it might be easier on me to just head back to my parents' house rather than rough it out on some uncertain tips. New store, new ways of doing things, all but for a month. Cutting losses.

I had a few days to be disappointed, but I believe that will all work out. I was just looking at things the wrong way. I get some more vacation time with my family, and I can live rent-free. I don't have to busy myself with a bunch of stuff unless I'm wanting to do it for myself. I have a couple of books to get through, and I can goof off playing video games. I can actually abdicate some responsibility instead of making myself stir crazy over deadlines.

This isn't so bad -- granted it's only day two here.

Anyway, nothing serious to report. I'm okay. If I get some inspiration to write more, then I'll be back. Take care.