Emancipated

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A friend joked with me this morning, "I talked to Human Resources this morning and found that they were neither resourceful nor human."

Keywords: Do not work for Amazon.com. Do not work for Integrity Staffing Solutions on their behalf.

(More on that in a moment...)

I found myself stuck in a difficult situation. Still working under temporary status, I made a request to have some days off next month. I needed two nights off for my birthday and another two nights for my trip to the University of Arizona. More than willing to give two weeks' notice, I visited my HR department. The factory had not yet approved some sort of time-off sheet, so they told me to come back in a week. I did; no progress on their end, feet shuffling. I listed the days on note paper, and met a reply of that sound you make when you suck in your teeth and inhale.

"I think you're only allowed two days off per season," he mentioned through tobacco-stained teeth. I stated my confusion, and he recanted, saying that he'll have to talk to his HR boss. I inquired the next day. He had left a note. My birthday is a week away. Resolution isn't in sight.

Keywords: No-fault attendance policies fail to account for the legimitate reasons why people are unable to work, thus forsaking quality, established partnerships with employees for simplicity.

HR departments love no-fault policies. It is allegedly designed to "reward good attendance and to eliminate people with poor attendance."

I don't have a problem with that, mind you. Chronic absenteeism is a problem in the workforce that should be addressed proactively; it's the non-proactivity that makes me remiss.

Furthermore, the "rewards" for good attendance seem half-hearted. An immediate reward is job security. You can't get fired (for a good reason) if you show up and leave on time. Compensatory rewards include banking personal time-off hours, though the rate of exchange might leave something to be desired. You earn one hour per forty hours worked. Given a twelve-hour work day, you would have three months to earn one paid day. (Aloha, Hawaii.) Monetary rewards (e.g. salary bonus) would require a combination of factory-wide incentives to be met. At Amazon, you earn a bonus only if attendance, production, and safety meet threshold. If one fails the mark, then no bonus is given to anyone, thus lowering morale and perpetuating "bad seed" mentalities generated within the employee group.

It also provides a simple standard for assessing attendance, tardiness, and absence. Employees earn a number of points depending on the degree of absence, with lesser point values for clocking in late or more points for missing work without notification (e.g. no-call/no-show). The policy is helpful for a number of common infractions that need no elaboration or explanation, but more intricate situations require subjective judgments that make this policy much harder to enforce and certainly less than helpful.

I observe that because it is in an HR department's best interest to (keep it simple, stupid!), that no-fault policies are deficient in addressing people whose concerns may require more sophisticated responses. It is precisely because HR people want to avoid making subjective judgments -- maybe to discourage favoritism or to quell anxieties about doing or saying the wrong thing -- that it ends up doing a disservice.

Keywords: The context is of no importance.

There is more traffic congestion than usual on the highway, and despite punctual behavior about leaving home at least 45 minutes to beat the time, Tom is still caught in the rush. He punches in ten minutes after his time. He is visibly flushed. He tells his supervisor, who excuses it and tells him to get to work. While it certainly doesn't create much of a ripple, the HR computer system documents the tardiness and gives a one-point demerit.

Samantha was also caught in the congestion except it was an overzealous driver doing a hard left at a yellow light that caused her to get into an accident. She has no injuries, and addresses her startledness by collecting the driver's insurance information and calling a tow truck to retrieve her vehicle. She calls another friend nearby to pick her up and take her to work. She clocks in an hour after her start time, explains the situation to her manager, and gets to work as well. It wasn't yet 61 minutes of late time according to the computer system, so she too gets a point. (If it were, three points.)

No-fault policies work exactly the same regarding the infraction, "late to starting one's shift," albeit for different reasons. Clearly, the circumstances surrounding Samantha's case were quite a bit more traumatic. She escaped injured and could work, but despite the wrangling that it took to get her car into care and to arrive when she did, it goes unnoticed. The point stays.

For more pressing concerns such as personal illness, a no-fault attendance policy might consolidate all of that time into one absence despite medical excuse. Some adverse circumstances would allow an employee to leave on doctor's orders and to resume work when health is attained. Other than that, demerits register on the system.

Keywords: Resistance is futile.

For example, if a person has an acute medical condition that requires five days of rest, a no-fault policy would require medical clearance, then consolidate the time off into one absence. Why is the worker being punished for requiring medical attention? HR systems still register the individual worker's absence as detrimental to the production cycle; thus, the points stay on. Even if the employer gives the employees tool to deal with such a tribulation (e.g. health insurance) and encourages prompt treatment, it doesn't reward the compliance and prompt attention. It is still interpreted policy-wise as a distraction that needs to be documented.

No-fault attendance policies usually feature a provision that states that is difficult to get points overturned. It is a usual explicit notice on the form, likely intended to deter motions and to reduce involved paperwork. To that, I would add that it is likely that an emboldened notice would intimidate someone not to see further counsel. People can discern the likelihood of an event succeeding in their favor. Because HR complaints seem to go nowhere, one might not want to rock the boat, anyway.

So, we have three problems -- the third I'll mention below.

The system makes such a goal of simplicity and standardization that it cannot adequately addresses concerns that would be to the benefit of the employee. Second, it discourages employees from establishing appeals even if the case seems compelling, as HR personnel have an inability or a reluctance to accept those claims. Finally, as a temporary production staff does not receive work benefits of personal time off (PTO) which is the "fair offset" to the staunch policy, temporary workers may find themselves unduly compromised that much further. Already weakened by ineffective policies that, at best, lift the burden from human resources and transfers it back onto the very workers whose absenteeism demands such action, workers, especially temporary ones, have little room for negotiation.

Whether or not I can afford to take the time off (because of having a second job), it is of no consequence. I'm not taking off just because I don't feel like working. My birthday gives me one of few opportunities each year to visit family, and I need to go to the University to meet the department officials, write out paperwork, and to scout housing. The reasons don't matter; only the policy matters.

Keywords: My history seems pretty human enough, doesn't it? And perhaps that was my downfall.

One-half point tardiness, traffic. [December]
One-half point tardiness from break, disputed. [December]

One point, left early, stomach illness. [January]
Was asked, "Can you tough your way through it?" I said that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to vomit on the inventory. We already got enough flack for having to give free replacements for damaged goods.

One and one-half points, called in, inclement weather. [February]
It was significant enough for the county to cancel school early and for the University of Kentucky to cancel classes and to close down all nonessential functions. The policy states that in cases of inclement weather, the employer urges safety and caution. Failing to account that some individuals could have the same problem and live in outlying areas more dangerous to traverse, it was reasoned that since some employees could show up, that everyone should have.

If I were to take off for any of my request days, I would earn 1.5 points per day. I would have terminated on March 7 if I didn't elect to save my own hide and quit.

Keywords: While salary is a good incentive to keep a job, it probably isn't enough to keep a job that, in your core, makes you feel miserable.

I could have worked tonight, next Tuesday, and next Wednesday, but considering the stress of this whole encounter, I didn't want to go back. It's akin to walking into slaughter. Because I don't intend to put this job on my resume -- and I wouldn't need to because I have maintained my healthcare job the whole time -- I could walk away. I don't intend to working at this temp agency again as I will be moving in a few months.

Recourse options -- there were none. The policy isn't going anywhere. And honestly, I don't just blame the factory. As displeased as I am with the circumstances, I realize that it is a much broader systemic issue between employees who will compromise themselves to keep a job, and employers who always cut the bottom line for profit. It is an illusion in these United States to chance upon jobs that really inject humanity into their considerations for employee care. Not everyone is the Devil, for sure, but we're really a far cry from proactive systems.

To strive toward one would be too French, too European Union, too socialist, too communist, too hippie for our own individualistic, bootstrapped good.

One thing I can say about some of the God books coming down the inventory line, I flipped to a back cover and read about how values should dictate your work line, not your pocketbook. I reflect upon my work at the factory as a good way to help pay off a few things. I paid back the money billed to me for my dog's medical expenses. I chipped away at some debt. I have "graveyard" stories to tell. Thankfully, I have a plan of action to get back into more work. I can start waiting tables again, and I can use some time to recharge. I'm also free to check out other opportunities if something else comes up.

In any case, I'm free and, poor or not, it's the best decision I could have ever made.

Detachment

Some friendships can grow and evolve over long periods of time while others are destined for the short-term, gauging little more than acquaintanceship. Both forms of friendship are valid. It really depends on how much one wants to invest emotionally into another person at the time. Sometimes, you need a little love; other times, you need a lot.

Eve Carmichael agrees that shared experiences create a longer-lasting friendship, though she bases her argument on the assumption that the two people involved in the friendship have relatively close proximity. Her suggestions include monthly get-togethers, inviting each other over for dinner on a regular basis, and playing catch-up via phone if times get a little busy.

Connie Ragen Green offers little more than a plug to her website. Reinventing passion, I would hope, requires more than a blurb. She says that people just have to be a little more outgoing in order to establish contact in the first place. How that leads to something long-term is anyone's guess.

And in celebration of Friendship Day, it seems assumed that the long-term friendships usually stem from childhood. It is simply an issue of sustained contact over a period of years that creates the bond, no matter how fallacious this definition-based argument appears to the reader.

I'll never forget what this girl wrote in my high school yearbook about ten years ago. She was polite and sweet; she opined favorably about classes we've held together and some silly interactions here and there. She wrapped it up by saying that our friendship would draw to a close now, and that she wished me a lot of luck -- back when I was damn sure I wanted to be a doctor. (My, how things have changed.)

That just stunned me. The end. I suppose I was no different than other graduates from high school who assume that they'll drag along these same social contacts, or that no matter where we go, we'll use the Internet to stay in touch.

The funny thing about Facebook, Myspace, and all those sites -- you have an opportunity to play catch-up. If you remember any old classmate's name, you can take a chance. You can do a search and see if you pick anything up. With some luck, you'll find a profile and a picture and a brief quip or two about life. Encountering old classmates, it was cool to exchange stories, I suppose.

Call me cynical, but I think if enough time festers between high school or college and pushing 30, it's a good opportunity to show off just how much life tried to kick one's ass and failed in doing so completely.

If I were to attend my high school reunion, I would make a game of it. Try to concoct as many different stories as I can keep straight in my head. It doesn't matter if it's believable or true. Why would it?

Last night, I checked my old email address for absolutely no good reason, and I stumbled upon a chain of messages from my old colleagues in gradaute school. The e-mail was entitled "Two years out." Some people are still working the same jobs since graduation. Others are still going the clinical route. One went back to school, had a baby. I talked about going back to school myself.

I clicked "Send," and then I asked myself why I felt the need to reconnect.

I look at some of my deeper friendships. It's not about proximity by any means. The Internet can really make the world seem smaller. It's not about regular get-togethers because it is understood that airfare, like everything else on the commercial market, is getting ridiculously expensive. A telephone can suffice. Cards and notes around holidays are certainly appreciated. But, at the end of the day, it really depends on where you keep someone in your heart.

I don't have a whole lot of friends right now, but the ones I do have are especially kindred to me. I call them regularly. We write emails. I regret the times in which I may have undervalued them because, clearly, in my ups and downs, they make themselves available. Even if I'm doing alright, they want to make it undeniably clear that they will be there for me. And even if we talk about absolutely nothing in between jobs or while I'm at the grocery store, I still smile when I see their names come up on my caller ID.

I fell asleep last night, and I said to myself that -- well -- it wasn't so bad to send everyone an update. I'm okay. They asked because, apparently, they wanted to know. I don't have any grand designs on flying across the country and attending their conferences. We have a few years of that closeness. It was good at the time, but my emotional needs and my direction in life have changed.

I don't have anything to prove -- just a few moments to say hello out of politeness and to carry on from there.

Assistantship

I received an official letter from Arizona this afternoon. The department wanted to welcome me with open arms, asked for some confirmations about next month's visit, and then added in a punch of really good news.

"We have also awarded you a Graduate Assistantship. Graduate assistants are assigned to individual faculty members for 20 hours per week. The assistantship carries a stipend of $15,698 for the approximate period of August 2008 through May 2009, and includes a full tuition waiver."

The top dollar for a 20-hour assignment is just over $17,000, so the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences has some rather impressive top billing compared with other departments.

The letter states that I will continue to receive this level of funding for the next four years as long as I make a 3.0 GPA and progress through my degree program. Funding isn't as guaranteed after the fourth year, but the Department has been successful at funding virtually all students continuing with their dissertation and such with the same tuition waivers in place. I also receive student health insurance.

"Especially in light of Tucson's reasonable cost of living," it continues, "we think you will find this package to be competitive with offers from other top sociology graduate programs in the country."

I smiled and immediately marked an acceptance of the terms. I'll mail it to the department first thing in the morning.

I remembered with discouragement how difficult it was to get good funding back at UK. I had to blend a quarter-time assistantship with a fellowship to earn just barely $10,000 or so that academic year. Obligatory summer classes with no funding, and I had to work a second job off campus because there was no way I could live off of what I was making there. I remember getting really resentful about having to work on campus, work off campus, totally bust my hump, and I had barely any scratch to show for it. And I ask, how can anyone feel good about that? It's hard enough being a student and trying to do the best that you can. It's like Angela Davis said in a song by Me'shell Ndegéocello: "And if they have children, how are they going to pay for child care in order to guarantee the conditions that will enable them to work?"

Socialist, indeed. Rock on.

I am very pleased with the offer. When I visited UCLA, the director made it sound like a four-year package was an exclusivity reserved only for their premiere program. But, if I'm reading right, Arizona's laying out a really sweet deal. Split over a full year, it's a little over $1,300 a month.

Housing is much cheaper than I thought. My car insurance is a bit cheaper as well. Graduate housing on campus runs about $550 a month. I'll register for that to see if I can get in, but I imagine I can get away with an economic studio setup nearby for a pretty good amount as well. I'll shop around a bit.

It's just such a sigh of relief.

To think, I don't have to go stir-crazy over funding. I've competed enough to get a good arrangement. I just have to continue to do my best and really invest my time, effort, and heart into my education. Everything else will work out fine. No more nervousness or tension.

Dr. Albert Bergesen signed off and I smiled back at him. Light tan paper and red letterhead ink, I pressed a pen to the page, happy, basking in all of this collegial warmth. It doesn't sound pretentious or forced. I feel like they're calling me in. They're saying, come on, come to your new home.

I'll be there soon, professor. I can't wait.

Sword Dancer

The Sword Dancer is a ghost-like presence first encountered in the Tales of the Abyss location, Choral Castle. Luke and his party encounters the Sword Dancer just before exiting the castle after the boss fight with Arietta.

Preparation:
Before fighting the Sword Dancer, walk past the healing save point on the stairwell leading down from the roof of Choral Castle. If possible, manuever and avoid the monsters on the stairs just before the mystery machine in the basement and head back to the entrance. Go into the menu and make some of these recommended adjustments.

First, swap your party members so that these four are active in battle: Guy [preferably controlled by you], Tear, Jade, and Anise. Luke should sit out this battle because he just can't keep up. Next, adjust your battle strategy. Tear, Jade, and Anise should have their TP consumption set to 75% or 100% and to attack with Fonic Artes only. The Overlimit feature probably isn't accessible yet, so don't worry about that. Finally, adjust the battle formation. The magic users should be in the furthest back row, and Guy can take the third row.

You can also turn off certain Artes for this battle if you'd like. Tear will be the primary healer, so stick to First Aid and Nightmare. Turn off Force Field as it only deflects one attack and provides a poor excuse to waste so many TP. You can also keep the Invoke magic on to see if it will augment any spells that hit the boss. Anise should be restricted to the Limited spell, while Jade can probably alternate Stalagmite and Energy Blast.

Talk to the Sword Dancer and the battle will begin.

Battle:
Apparently, his HP is dependent on your level. My crew was at level 14, which gave Sword Dance approximately 18,000 HP. The Magic Lens reveals no elemental weakness in particular, though his physical and fonic defense is relatively low.

Sword Dancer has three primary attacks:

1. Fang -- two dark-elemental shockwaves
2. Instant -- mid-range combo of three sword strikes
3. Storm -- spinning stun attack

Sword Dancer is pretty slow. It will use Fang if placed at a distance from the party, but thankfully, it isn't quite as accurate an attack. If Sword Dancer can close in, he will use Instant. If it's attacked or surrounded, it will counter with Storm.

Keeping your guard up will mitigate some of the damage, but it's better to stay out of attack range than to try to absorb the shock of the attacks. It's easy to get compromised or let up your guard while trying to use a recovery item or controlling a secondary party member, thus getting nailed and downed at a moment's notice.

Strategy:
Guy has great agility as well as a long-range attack. Hold the L2 button and freely run about the battle field. Keep your distance by using Demon Fang repeatedly. This is also a good "stunning" move in case Sword Dancer is closing in on your magic users. They will have enough time to either do a physical attack (no reason why), unleash a spell, or manuever out of the way to continue casting again. (That's why it's especially important to set magic users as far away in formation as possible.)

When Sword Dancer's HP hits 50%, it will unleash Overlimit. He can resist some knock-backs from spells, and I got the impression that it beefed up his speed and attack power slightly. Continue to connect your magic users' attacks -- preferably two or more timed closely and chained together -- quickly sweep in with a Strike Arte or several direct attacks.

Guy's agility is high enough to connect between two and four hits and throw up a quick block in case the Dancer tries anything funny. Block a hit or two, if needed, and retreat back. Repeat with Demon Fangs to soften it up, let the magic users strike, then close in for a few quick hits.

A good chain might include...

Anise: Limited (2 hits)
Tear: Nightmare (3 hits)
Jade: Stalagmite (4 hits, launch)
Guy: Crescent Strike

If left to their own devices, sometimes your teammates may accidentally trigger an FOF change. Mine lucked out since I left the Invokes on.

Jade: Energy Blast + Wind FOF = Photon
Jade: Stalagmite + Fire FOF = Eruption (great combo!)
Anise: Eagle Dive + Water FOF = Frigid Raptor
Anise: Limited + Wind FOF = Spark Wave (decent combo)
Guy: Crescent Strike + Water FOF = Frigid Moon

Summary:
After having been frustrated with Luke's performance in this boss battle, I switched him up with Guy, and I beat the Sword Dancer on the first try. Woo hoo! I recall spending more time nailing it with Demon Fang, so that it wouldn't strike with its sword attacks. I would go in for the quick hits when the spell damage started piling up.

I suppose it helped to have fanagled enough Gald to buy the best weapons and armor available at the Kaitzur Border. I bought the stuff just before the boss fight with Arietta.

The victory happened really quickly. If permitted to do so, the magic users will pummel away at the boss, only requiring Guy to step in on occasion and supplement the damage. As they're busy watching their own TP, don't be afraid to toss in an Apple Gel if they're needing it. My magic users burned through a few Orange Gels, which were easily replaced with the Gald spoils from the fight.

Any questions?
Feel free to leave a comment.

Westward

Earlier this week, I received an acceptance letter to the University of Arizona's doctoral program in sociology. "Ecstatic" wasn't even the word. I checked my email on my way out of the office, read the news, and let out a squeal that probably alerted some nearby neighborhood dogs. (Sorry about that.) It just seemed so unreal. Here I was, wondering when I would hear anything from the schools I applied, and in Cleartype black-and-white, destiny opened up before me.

Professor Lane Kenworthy issued the news and the warm regards, and I prompty responded with a gracious thank you. I'm also flying down there next month to check out the campus, hang out with some graduate students, discuss funding, and get a look at the city. As of right now, Arizona seems like a good investment.

When I visited Los Angeles to get a look at UCLA's program, one fifth-year's comments buzzed incessantly in my ear. She made it sound like the only way people could be successful in academia is if they attend top-tier schools. Now, to be fair, Arizona's no slouch. It ranked #13 out of 32 schools listed in the 1997 Gourman Report. I also spoke with Michael Cronk at Transylvania University's Career Development Center, and he said that it was more important to find a school that responded to my personal academic needs, desires, and can guide and mentor me into a strong young professional for the market.

I would like to think that the degree itself is just a piece of paper. The value, experience, loyalty, development, and journey to discover one's sense of self isn't easily captured in calligraphic ink.

In retrospect, I may not have been too enthusiastic about my experience in family counseling, but I don't have any regrets about that course of my life. I picked up a degree, and I revitalized some intellectual passion at the same time. My objectives -- they're still a little fuzzy, but I think you're supposed to be pretty rough around the edges. I've got five years to get it all figured out. I'm taking my time. I'm refusing to get stressed, and so help me, I'm going to enjoy this adventure.

I have to express a lot of gratitude to my friend Sean in Oklahoma. He and I have been friends for a few years now, and we share a similar academic background, and he has given nothing short of sage advice for this next step in my life.

Arizona will start up classes at the end of August, and I'm leaving Kentucky a month before that. Sean has agreed to let me stay with him for a little while. I'll save quite a bit. I'll help him with food expenses and other stuff he needs as a trade-off, and if I'm really pressed for money, I'll see if I can go wait tables somewhere for some quick scrap.

I can't believe I'm leaving here in four months. The time will fly, won't it? That's perfectly fine with me.

While I am saddened to leave my mom behind, I'm ready to reestablish some independence elsewhere. All I have known is Kentucky. Born and bred. I'm still young, have my wits about me and some purpose. I adore the idea of being a student again. Not only are you sort of insulated from the big world of problems and anxieties about debt, the job market, and finances, but you have a bit of a social cocoon wrapped about you to permit some development. As I'm one of those guys that has eschewed that marriage life stage, I'm career-focused and I have room to cultivate some great friends and colleagues.

Funny. Last night, Sean and I were talking about the big move, and I said that I was a little distressed because I wanted to have everything in as perfect order as I could prior to the trip out west. I wanted to have my credit cards completely paid off and all of my junk stuff eradicated, and then I had to simply shut up for a second. I'm going to be a nomad for a while. And what nomad do you know obsesses about these trifles?

Not me. I'm... ready.

I just have to keep telling myself that over and over again to be sure.

The Cuts

I sat down on my computer yesterday to file my taxes. I tend to do them myself, since I don't really have a whole lot of complexities with my money. I have my W-2s. No special forms. Some student loan interest. That's it.

I filed online and filled in my information dutifully. I've made more this year than in previous years, which ended up thrusting me into a higher tax bracket. I used to wait tables. A few years, I was honest about my cash tips. I've been less honest in other years -- and, to be blunt about it, it's all bad. I broke even on my federal return, and I owe almost $300 to the state. And I can't say for sure if it's because of my claims or withholding or the state budget or this war. It's just one big mess. In my head, I ask why I have to keep on paying more when, month to month, it's not like I'm grossing anything phenomenal. Every bit of the excess goes toward debt repayment.

Needless to say, I'm not pleased.

I think what really bothers me though is that -- I just finished reading a few books that have been highly critical of how our government spends its money. Do you see the discrepancies? The top chart is in real inflation-adjusted dollars; the bottom is the government portrayal and claims of how they spend what we give them -- one site's perspective, anyway -- and a good chunk of that is in defense spending. It shows up on the charts, and it's getting a lot of negative attention. Worse yet, reports show that the war is not only questionable; it's profitable at the expense of lots of civilian lives, oil reserves, and dogged imperialism.

I wouldn't care to pay out to my state, if I felt like it's really for the betterment of other people. Pick your poison. I'm all for increasing public funding for education, enhancing community resources, or allotting for medical care. Give me improvements to my city streets that actually work, since I pay nearly twice as much for local taxes. Get off the for-profit, insolvent charter school movement and give people a real choice in accessible and affordable education for their children, and give me teachers who are trained and nurtured to care for providing a solid education in children's lives.

Don't give me a war that makes not a damn bit of sense, please. We've been going at this for five years now. You can only repeat the same mistakes so long, then cover it up and lie about the progress, before people get it. I know I do; the majority agrees. And in the name of "terrorism," I don't feel an iota safer on my city streets now as I did when all of this started. Moves for democracy are highly compromised by human rights abuses and liberty stripping.

A few years ago, it was this halfhearted celebration about reaping in all this extra money. The IRS is doing a how-to about the stimulus rebates. I ask myself it's even a legitimate operation. I know that my rebate will help defray what I'm paying in state taxes. I don't get the big breakoff -- not that I had done so on the other publicized occasions -- and I certainly can't play into this fabrication about how this extra money will somehow be a big lift to the country. If I get more than my due, I'll give it back to Mastercard.

And I'll continue to be skeptical. You can't get too hurt or disappointed if you don't expect all that much to begin with, now, can you?

Fortunate

I woke up out of bed this morning to my cell phone, set on silent, angrily buzzing away on the top of my computer. Is it just me, or do silent settings still make quite a bit of noise? Anyhow, my boss calls me to let me know that I don't have to come in for a few more hours. There are tech support guys at the office setting up and installing our new computers this morning.

I tried to go back to sleep, but to no avail. I guess being so giddy, it makes it difficult to settle back down. Once I'm awake, I stay awake. I rarely get up in the middle of the night. I think there's just nothing stopping the sun from getting your internal body clock started. I have worked a third-shift job for a few months, and now it seems pretty "normal" -- albeit loathsome -- to function on four to five hours of sleep during the week, but I manage -- even if it gets me pretty wrecked by Thursday and Friday.

So, last night I chose to go home early, and today I can get off to a later start. Since I'm not asleep, I'll probably just take it easy this morning. I'm used to having to get up and having just enough time to shower, make lunch, and bolt for the door. I can ease up.

Last night before I left, I talked with a woman during one of our breaks, and she complained that her body hurt and that her throat was sore. She reported feeling body chills and overall discomfort. "Go home," a few of us pleaded, "take care of yourself." She wanted to finish up her shift. She would have the next few days off.

I've been there -- trying to tough it out being sick. It's horrible. You can't really function at your best anyway, and since most bugs respond well to rest and fluids, you do double the damage in deprivation. You can't heal, and you're often thrust around other people who are just as sick as you, in that vain attempt to earn one's keep.

But it's true. As hard as it work, it's all in relatively unskilled, working-class labor type jobs that don't confer benefits such as sick time or health insurance. If you can't work, then you can't pay your bills; if you can work, even if you feel like Death warmed over, you still have to tough it out. I know what that's like. You don't feel like you have a choice in the matter, especially if you're in more dire straits, such as having to support other family members or if bill collectors are harassing you for past due payments.

Sick and incredibly anxious, pressing onward, pushing it, even if you're on the verge of breaking down.

I had a sinus infection the past week and a half. I think it's cleared up now. I took non-drowsy decongestants on a regular basis, caught up on my herbal tea, flushed myself with water, and tried sleeping as peacefully as I could. I lived on various soups and sandwiches, and I would catch up on rest for the weekends. I quit chasing after antibiotics.

I just... you know, I did the best I could. Like anyone else.

To walk into an urgent treatment center in town already costs $75. Take on a doctor's fee and a prescription request, and you can easily push into the three-digits. Who just has that sort of money lyin' around? I'm doing better now than I have in the past, but it's no exaggeration for your average family, living check to check, getting really strapped by a minor medical situation. Similar to car repairs, an unexpectedly high gas bill, or a large payment sum due, these things catch people unaware.

It's a lot easier to pay $20 for medication and self-care.

This is a time in which what's best for oneself certainly doesn't mesh well with reality. So, if you're one of the fortunate ones out there with medical coverage and the ability to stay home and recuperate, count your blessings. You don't need to watch "Sicko" to know that you're privileged. And for those of you who have to tough it, I wish you the very best. I don't care if you hate chicken noodle soup. Eat it. Rest, knowing that while you shoulder the burden of being the strong supporter, that it's okay to be weak sometimes.

Hello

Hello. I'm Dee, and thanks a lot for stopping by and checking out this new piece of the blogosphere.

Feel free to take a look around. Browse. Touch things. Doodle on the walls. But if you break anything, you're paying with interest. At least 15%.

This is what my hair looks like straightened, a little wet from maybe some rain or a hot shower or something. I like raw foods. Tomatoes, not ketchup. Cucumbers, not pickles. Sweet potatoes freshly sliced, no salt, no nothin'. I self-sabotage my way through RPGs. I'll play for a bit, stop, forget what I'm doing or quit midway through to try a new tactic. Alcohol grays your hair prematurely. And it took about seven years for me to miss my glasses, but I'm now quite fond of them.

I'm a little naughty. You see, I was at work a little while ago, and quite naturally when one is bored, the mind will start to wander. It's just past hump day, and I was thinking of things to do this weekend. Breaking ground on a new blog just sounds so much more fun than taking out the garbage, dusting, or putting in another load of laundry. And I think it's a good time for it too since, after doing a few memes, I think I really want a good space to get my thoughts down. I hope to express myself in a neat way and to give myself room to explore my writing. I like sociology, psychology, relationships, cooking, playing video games, eating, goofing off, and being insanely silly, and trying to be smart about it at the same time.

"Essay" size writing, maybe. A good big chunk of some spelled out stuff. I want to put the effort in. My brain needs a little more friction.

"Brainsplitter" must be important to me. It's a project designed to get creativity, thought, and exploration out onto a pretty safe space. It's a selfish whim to feed my head, and it's an experiment in letting my guard down a little bit more. Going on at length, you're bound to figure me out. And that's okay.

I'm getting older. I might be getting wiser. (Okay, that's debatable.) I don't have much shame either and certainly not much to lose.

Besides, who feigns a stomach ache to get out of work early to set up a new blog, anyway?